Sudan Bans Entire Alphabet, Mathematics

Khartoum, Sudan - Amidst rumors that the neighboring Muslim country of Saudi Arabia is considering banning the letter "X" for it's resemblance to the Christian symbol of the crucifix, the Republic of the Sudan has preemptively decided to ban the entire alphabet as well as mathematics.

When contacted for an explanation for the rash decision, Minister of General Education: Hamid Muhammad Ibrahim had the following to say: "We are not going to let the infidels corrupt us. We will not stop with merely banning the letter "x," we will ban all letters because they could carry the message of the infidels."

In addition to the stunning and baffling move to ban the entire alphabet, the Minister of Education also made a move to ban mathematics, namely for the striking resemblance of the plus sign ("+") to the crucifix("†"). It is not sure how this move will affect the Sudanese economy. Market forecasters around the world are predicting that this move will shoot the Sudan even further into the crapper, monetarily speaking.

As for the banning of the alphabet, it is predicted that the influence on the Sudanese people will be negligible due to the fact that most of them are illiterate.